One way, or another.

"Sometimes good people make bad decisions."

But she was wrong. There is no good and there is no bad.

This is why I don’t can’t hate you.

Staring into her eyes, I remembered what it felt like that night better than I had remembered it the day after it happened.

I saw again those unkind notes on the walls - things like “get me out of here,” and “CUNT” scratched out in long, shaky, letters - and I felt again the  stitching of the stiff khaki fashion I slept in and the coldness of those half-assed crocs I had on my feet.

I remembered it all too well. 

So I remained motionless, locked in in that blue surveillance of truth. I let it fuck me up.

Blue. Her eyes were blue, deep like sundown on a cloudless evening. Not a spec of light was to be found - no, they were dark, and they were fierce, and they were coming for me.

But they were not relentless, and as she stared at me, I felt truth and untruth clawing at my insides, ready to be released, to be told, to be heard.

I said nothing.

My favorite shorts, Buddha bar, every lie you ever told me.
It’s always running with you:

Your hands, my thighs
Up the stairs and down them
From the truth.

I should be running from you.

MIA and not a day over twenty, how proud you must be. I can’t make you stay, but I will not allow this to become a cycle in your roundabout game. I don’t appreciate what you’ve done to me, and I won’t let this go.

One year is all it takes. Maybe it was meant to be this way.

My heart has been out of control lately, but I’ve no one to thank but myself. I used to dream big, but I’ve come to know that dreams are biodegradable. They’ll sink right into the ground if you aren’t careful, so you’d better not miss a step. And don’t even think about blinking.

Started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss… it was only a kiss. Now I’m falling asleep -

Now I have a mugshot, court date, and nobody to talk to. It’s been a while, Tumblr. I truly think it’s hilarious how the past few weeks I’ve been absolutely content and head over heels with my life with it all to end in the blink of an eye.